Proven Provision

Happy Wedding Anniversary! Keith and I have been married for two years but it feels like we have already created a life time of memories. Our love story is a great reminder that its never too late and sometimes your closer to true love than you realize.

Keith and I grew up parallel to one another. We lived in the same town, went to the same high school, as well as, college, and shared many friend connections. As a matter of fact, our best friends growing up where siblings, yet we never crossed paths. He was a few years older than me and I was more focused on the Hanson Brothers and beanie babies. Furthermore, I don't think that it would have been at all appropriate for a high school senior to be dating an eighth grader.

Our paths didn't cross for many more years. He happily enjoyed his bachelorhood and I chose a life that I thought was just the next step after college.

Little did I know God had other plans for us and a beautiful reveal in store.

After seven years of trying to control my situation, heal a broken heart and mend an unhealthy relationship, I finally released my grip and allowed Christ to handle the mess I had created. (I still remember the peace that washed over me that moment....and many moments there after.) Without hesitation, He rescued me from despair and returned to me more than I could have dreamed of. (During this time God also guarded Keith from any one who might snatch up such a great man! Those other girls didn't realize what they where missing.)

In a few short sentences it sounds like it was quick and easily but if you know anything about me, you know I am a stubborn, control freak. Thankfully, God's love prevails! I look back and want to smack myself for being so foolish and ridiculously hard headed.

At just the right time, God allowed Keith and I to cross paths, share a cup of frozen yogurt and reminisce on our history. It's like we knew each other from childhood but witnessed life from opposite sides of the street and never making eye contact. It blows my mind every time I think about it! GOD's TIMING IS PERFECT! (I need this reminder daily.)

I wouldn't say I regret my past life choices but my heart had to do some major healing afterwards. I am the independent, strong willed adult I am today because of my history. Even more so, I saw, heard and truly experienced the tangible and unconditional love of Christ during that time. His provisions and grace where undeniable. If it weren't for those hardships I wouldn't have the relationship with my Heavenly Father that I do today. Furthermore, I wouldn't truely realize what a huge blessing my husband is in my life.

Our Happily Ever After - July 2016

With that said, on days like today, our wedding anniversary, I am overjoyed to tears because of the undeserving blessings I have received. I remember crying out, on my knees to the Lord for the life I now have. Wow, how we serve an awesome King!

This month I have been constantly praying for direction in our TTC journey. It will be a year in August and I am not sure what direction God wants us to pursue. There are so many medicinal options that cost time, money and emotions. On top of the potential medical procedures, there are even more natural remedies and techniques to attempt. It's a bit overwhelming as I'm sure my fellow TTC tribe members already know.

But before the panic sets in, I want to pause and give thanks for my beautiful marriage to an amazing man. For a life that is more than what I once prayed for and adventure filled memories that last a lifetime. And for the reminder that God's Timing is perfect and he does all things for the good of those who love him. I owe it all to Christ and I know that without Him I have nothing. As I write I remember how powerful seeking Him in that struggle was and want to do the same as we TTC.

Our wedding anniversary is not only a reminder of the love that Keith and I have for each other but the Agope, or Sacrificial Love, Christ has for us.

God cares for us more than we do for ourselves. He also cares for our "unconcieved" child and knows the impact they will have on His Kingdom. Why would he do anything less than amazing?

Why am I struggling to trust that our beautiful baby will arrive in perfect time? Why do we doubt his provision when time and time again he proves his divine power?

I think that today God is whispering to my heart "Be still my child....My timing is and has always been perfect."

I have hope that our journey to parenthood will have the same

beautiful reveal as our love story did.

Heavenly Father, Thank you for making beauty out of ashes. Your grace and mercy is more than we deserve yet you still provide. Lord I ask that you grant us peace in the waiting and direction as we move forward. You alone are our rod and our staff. (Psalms 23) Continue to remind us of your bigger picture and plan for our lives. May we be a testimony to your unfailing love and unlimited power. In your name, Jesus Christ.

Amen.